Big school

We have a really major milestone coming up just around the corner. School. Nathan’s very first day of ‘big’ school.

 

I have to confess that I’ve had a few, well actually several (private) teary episodes over this whole thing. My first baby growing up right before my very eyes… stepping across this threshold out into the world on his own. Sigh. It’s all been quite an emotional ride for me.

 

I even got a little teary during our trip the school supplies shop to pick up the items on his school list, as I looked at my big ‘little boy’ walking down the long aisle filled with books and stationery. And I had a déjà vu moment, recalling my own childhood back-to-school shopping expeditions for textbooks and stationery.

 

 

Nathan himself is quite excited over the whole adventure. Though one quiet afternoon while we was hanging out with me, he admitted to feeling a little scared and nervous. “What if my new friends don’t like me?” he said. And I knew could not simply dismiss that thought. Because it could very well be true. I myself absolutely hated my entire kindergarten  year. Till today, I can still remember feeling lost and alone almost all the time throughout that stage in my life.

 

So I told Nathan what I remembered about my first day of school…

“…I wore my new uniform and carried my new schoolbag. My daddy (that’s your grandpa, Nathan) walked with me to my classroom that morning. There were so many children in the room. I felt scared and nervous. I didn’t know anyone there. I sat down next to another little girl who was probably just as scared as I was. I tried my best to listen to the teacher. At recess, I ate the snack my mummy packed for me.  And after school, my daddy was right there waiting for me to go home.” 

“Mummy?”

“Yes, Nathan?” 

“I can be brave.” 

“Yes, Nathan. You are my brave boy.”

It was all I could do not to break down right there and then and start bawling my eyes out.

During our first meeting with his school teacher a few months back during the whole registration/orientation process, his teacher remarked that there might be a few tears on that first day, but it was normal. “Tears. Well, definitely from me at least!” I replied, half jokingly. “Absolutely no tears from you, mummy!” she quipped in a half severe tone. “You can cry it all out afterwards, but all smiles at drop off, alright?”.

 

Anyway, logistics wise we are pretty much almost all set and ready to go. We have all his school stationery and supplies. School bag, shoes, uniform, lunchbox, drink bottle.

 

I have a feeling that just looking at him all dressed up in his school uniform is enough to set me off again. And reading this book to Nathan. And this poem.

 

Excuse me while I go play this song on repeat and cry my eyes out.

 

 

P.S. How we went with Nathan’s first day of school.