The importance of confinement support

A friend recently shared this article on Facebook which talked about how cultures who practice some form of ‘confinement period’ after childbirth appeared to have a lower incidence of post-partum depression. I can personally testify to the truth of this article.

Fending for ourselves…
After Nathan was born when I arrived home from the hospital, there was a short interval of one week when we pretty much had to fend for ourselves. My mother who was coming to look after me was not able to come earlier due to some logistical issues. I had pre-cooked and frozen some meals in preparation for this and my darling hubby did the best he could to help out around the house.

A very trying time…
Despite all my preparations, that interval was still a very trying time for me. I was sleep-deprived, learning how to handle a new baby, I was in pain due to my stitches, my brain was all frazzled and I had little patience to give specific instructions to my hubby for every little task he was helping with.

Breaking down…
I remember on the third day after we arrived home from the hospital, I had a home visit from a midwife as part of the hospital’s post-natal care. After the midwife had examined and weighed baby Nathan, she turned to me and asked gently “so how are YOU doing, dear?”.

It was such a simple question, but I immediately broke down and started crying. That was really a low point for me.

Thankfully, my mother arrived just a few days later to look after me. I definitely appreciated having home-cooked food all the time, not having to worry about doing dishes, laundry or housework, and being able to rest and sleep whenever I could in between baby’s feeds and wake-times.

Looking back…
Looking back on the whole experience, it made me realise how important the ‘confinement period’ is in our culture. Whether or not we follow all the traditional practices to the letter, I think the key thing is having someone to provide practical functional care and loving support.

Considering others…
After reading the article and reflecting on my own personal experience, I think I should try to be a little more pro-active in offering practical help or support to fellow first-time mommy friends. Particular if they’re in a situation like me, being far away from family, especially in their post-partum period.

Whether it’s bringing over a full-blown traditional confinement dish or helping to wash their dishes or just popping by to see how they’re doing – if they are anything like me, even a small act of kindness can make a big difference.

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