The Gap

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I acknowledge this long gap.

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In the past several years, it has been becoming difficult to be completely open about about many things. 

But like a mirror, the very same little people I taught to fly free, think for themselves and live fearlessly have reminded to do the same for myself.

These past few months, so many little things like listening to inspiring songs, revisiting favourite stage characters and reading new material had been chipping away at the dam I had erected around me over the past few years.

In my fear of becoming an outcast, I silenced my voice and imprisoned myself, holding myself captive by the thoughts of others. Alone, I was most myself, most true. But the self that really mattered was the self that was visible, the self that could be shown to other people. Yet, I'd had to keep my true self apart, and there's only so much of yourself you can hide before you start to fall apart. (almagation of quotes from 'Laurinda')

So this year, I'm giving it a go to embrace my truth (despite the fear) so I can be whole.

“Fear is the original sin,” suddenly said a still, small voice away back—back—back of Valancy’s consciousness. “Almost all the evil in the world has its origin in the fact that some one is afraid of something.” Valancy stood up. She was still in the clutches of fear, but her soul was her own again. She would not be false to that inner voice.
― L.M. Montgomery, The Blue Castle