Just like that

For Grace...

Today is the 15th of October 2025.

It felt like it was only just days ago when you said goodnight that we shared a cuddle with your trademark "mmmn!" at the end. It was so important to get the tone just right. Sometimes you would make me repeat it several times before it would pass. Then we would finish off with a kiss and say goodnight.

I might laugh or even seem slightly exasperated at how many takes we'd need to get our goodnight ritual perfectly right. But that was you. If something is worth doing, it's worth doing right. And I know how important it was to get every goodnight exactly right.

Since that last time, I've felt a shift.

It may seem like such a small thing.

A little goodnight cuddle with the "mmmmn!" at the end.

But it feels so big to me right now.

Like the axis of my entire world has shifted.

And that small tender sweetness between us is gone.

Just like that.

Without warning.

The rug pulled from under me.

Perhaps because you are my last baby.

So it feels so much harder.

I should have known it was coming.

Perhaps I was blindsided by all the other big changes we've been preoccupied with... getting ready for high school and the various events and programs that have been happening throughout this final year of primary school leading up to graduation.

So I was completely unprepared.

Maybe I thought it was one of those things that would never happen to me.

Or maybe it's just one of those things we will never feel ready for when it does hit.

It's brutal.

I suppose the incredible pain is simply a testament of how wonderful that short season was when it lasted.

And I remind myself...

A thing isn't beautiful because it lasts.

It was a privilege to be a part of it for as long as it did.